Much has been written and said about the fact that a relationship with a busy man is not the most promising business. But with enviable persistence, many women continue to enter into such problematic relationships.

I propose to leave aside the moral side of the issue and take a close look at the whole thing from the point of view of logic, seasoned with knowledge of the peculiarities of the psychology of the sexes.

If you have entered into a relationship with a married man, then:

• You told him that you are not ready to come first.

The clients of our center know that the rules in relationships are formed in the first few dates. And then it is almost impossible to change these rules. If from the very beginning you showed the man with your actions that he is the main one in this game, and you are just adjusting to his desires and capabilities, then this is how he will treat you.

The very fact that he did not leave the family before offering you something speaks of a certain attitude towards you. And the attitude is not the most respectful.

And this will not change, even if he leaves the family. There is a lot you need to know to change the rules.

• You automatically become comfortable for him, not loved.

Having a relationship with a busy man means that you adapt your life to his schedule, not the other way around. He has time - you blew up and ran, postponing all business. Well, or not all. In any case, meetings only happen when it is convenient for him. What does this tell a man about you? Yes, a very simple thing: you are a woman who can be treated as you like. You are the one who does not demand respect for yourself. Who will do everything, if only he was there. And this is another rule in your relationship.

Will he reckon with such a woman - with her interests, with her desires? Of course not. Since she already suits her, then there is no need to strain. And he will be capricious - it is enough to frighten him with his coldness or a hint that he may not leave his family anywhere.

• You allowed him to cheat on you.

Just imagine the situation: a man does a dirty trick, and you do nothing to him for that. Guess what this means in masculine language? This means that by your inaction, lack of sanctions, you allowed him to do such dirty tricks. And that's all.

If we call a spade a spade, removing romance and sentimental stories, then the picture is as follows. He is a man who cheats on at least one woman. And he sleeps with two. Cool to him, huh?

Of course, such men often say that they have had nothing with their wife for a long time, and he lives with her out of pity or for the sake of children. This is followed by the very tragic circumstances due to which he cannot leave right now: his wife is ill, there are problems with the children, the property must be dealt with - in a word, the classic noodles, which we will now put out of the brackets.

And where is the guarantee that they really have not had sex with his wife for a long time? What makes you think that all this is true? There is no way to check it. It turns out that all that remains is to take our word for it. A man who cheats on at least one woman ...

• You have become a hunter, not a coveted prey.

He is not caring for you, but you are caring for him. And you solve his problems, even if it seems that he is very helpful with money or something else.

Most often, in such a relationship, the second woman works as a psychotherapist (if not: an emotional toilet) for a man. An unhappy handsome man, oppressed by an evil wife, resorts to pity, sympathy and support. And gets emotional recharge.

• You fall into the trap of female competition.

This trick is generally hidden in every triangle with the participation of two women and one man. Getting into such a relationship "for three", each of the two women begins to fight for a man, trying to be better than a rival. Concentrating on this competition, they immerse themselves in it so much that they forget the most important thing - to soberly assess the actions of the handsome prince. And he, as a rule, does it very simply: he steps aside and, popping popcorn, enjoys a virtual fight. And he deliberately chooses no one. Thus, he dumps the responsibility for what is happening on women: he just stood there for beauty (well, he added a little oil). It's your own fault, if that.

In addition, no one has canceled the basic law of competition: whoever has better and cheaper - the buyer will go to that. And this thought makes women in the struggle to lower their demands towards men.

And the most important trick is this: a woman's love grows in direct proportion to the number of thoughts and feelings associated with this particular man. In pursuit of the title of "the best of the two" of this emotional goodness, a whole carriage arises: this is sympathy (it's hard for him, the poor one), and anger at his rival, and sadness from the inability to be together, and the joy of meeting - but what is not in this cocktail ! What can we say about thoughts - you can't get them out of your head with a filthy broom. There are plans from the category of "how to defeat her", "how to make him feel good"; sleep is not given by fantasies about how good it will be together when all this is over.

So it turns out that the more they fight for a man, the more they fall in love. And what, exactly? In whom? What kind of attitude towards ourselves will we get in the end? They somehow forget about this in excitement.

• You made it clear to him that you are ready to do anything for him.

Men do not respect women, who are completely dependent on them. Moreover, they become uninterested in those who “will not get away from him,” who do not have a part of their life that is not connected with him. Look at the wives who have become too approachable for their husbands: is he running from such a person?

• It's not a fact that you are alone with him.

If your relationship began with deception (at least your wife), then this says something about the personality traits of a man. In particular, this state of affairs seems to hint: for him to have a double life and deceive a woman is permissible.

And here those who are friends with logic begin to be tormented by vague doubts: when he cannot speak, because he is "at home" - is he really there? Or does he have someone else besides you and your wife? And that, conveniently: from all mistresses one excuse - "I am now with my wife."

• He does not fall in love with you, but with the image that you have created for him.

As a rule, in a relationship with a married (or busy) man, the second woman is afraid of losing that man. And then she does not allow herself to be herself. She is scared to throw tantrums, demand something from him, tell something about herself. She thinks all the time: how will these or those of her actions affect his attitude towards her? Will she push him in the wrong direction with her behavior?

It turns out that not only a man is cheating in such a relationship, but also a woman who, by hook or by crook, is trying to get him. The fear of losing a man makes her hold back, hide and remain silent. And such things do not pass without a trace - grievances accumulate, which sooner or later will be voiced. As a result, the image of the woman with whom he started a relationship will not correspond at all to what it really is.

And then what?

We believe in fairy tales because magic does happen. Occasionally, but it happens that Cinderella meets the Prince. One in a million is still lucky.

It may happen that he really chooses you: divorce or break up (with the one to whom he once swore allegiance too). And here consequences, specific for such relations, lie in wait.

So, here's what goes to the "second" women:

• A man with an internal permission to cheat.

We are, of course, good and correct people. But ... remember what happened the first time you skipped a lesson or lecture? Drive, adrenaline, the feeling that you are doing something shameful and very forbidden. And scary at first.

And then, when it turns out that nothing terrible has happened, fear almost disappears, and arrogance increases. And absenteeism for many is becoming a common thing.

The same thing happens with men. Once you cross this line, there is a huge temptation to add treason to the list of acceptable actions.

As the saying goes, "when you marry a man who is cheating on his wife, then you are marrying a man who is cheating on his wife."

• A man who does not want to solve problems in a relationship.

Look: something did not work out with his wife. Maybe it's not easy. Maybe it has accumulated - who knows. In any case, difficulties appeared in their relationship. And what does he prefer to do in such a situation? Fight for a relationship, do whatever it takes to stay together with your partner? No. He prefers to run away from the problem. And to run away so as to receive all available bonuses from your partner as long as possible, without admitting to treason.

And this is his way of living as a couple. How do you like this?

• Two for the price of one.

They say, "wives are never former." And more often than not, it is. Even if a man gets divorced, there are several points that prevent him from completely belonging to only one woman:

1. First, there is a habit. In a wide variety of forms. If he is used to taking care of his wife, all the time thinking about how she lives, then there is very little chance that he will take so abruptly and forget about the one in which he invested so much. If there was no concern and participation on his part, then he will still have "flashbacks" - periods of acute longing for his former life. Simply because the family occupied a part of his life, and he simply did not have time to endure the grief of parting with it (see the article on parting).
2. Secondly, a couple (especially a family) are united not only by marital relations. They have common problems, friends, children, relatives - in a word, those parts of life that, along with the stamp, do not appear and do not disappear. For example, friends called him for his birthday. Who will he go with? And if now the former is also a friend and a welcome guest? And how to "divide" the relatives? And the children? And what about business? All this will pop up over and over again in his life.
3. Third, his guilt will not go away. No matter how the relationship develops, no matter what happens, men in the depths of their souls very hard experience the feeling of their "badness". Yes. He may mask this feeling with aggression towards his ex. But he will not stop feeling it. Especially if this man is a responsible creature. An explosive mixture of pangs of conscience and a sense of responsibility for the one he once tamed, every now and then will make him take care of his ex. After all, he is to blame. And I want to make amends.

• Fears.

Many "second" women are aware of the concept of permission to cheat. They suspect that where once, there is another. Having taken the long-awaited place of the wife, they rejoice for a while, but then ... then fears begin to torment them: "And where is he staying late? At work? The former he said the same when he was with me ..."

When anxiety goes off scale, a woman begins to do everything that provokes a man to cheat. The severity of paranoia can be very different: someone spies on him, someone reads his correspondence, someone simply loses peace. As a result - quarrels, scandals, tantrums and nervous breakdowns. Even if a woman is a champion in hiding her own feelings, then along with peace she still loses confidence in her attractiveness. That, too, does not improve the situation, but simply repels the man.

• Fading emotions.

A sideways romance is a forbidden fruit. Which is known to be sweet. And this greatly heats up feelings, artificially inflating the emotional connection. Well, think for yourself: how attractive are secret meetings, views that only two people understand ... is all this romance even in some kind of comparison with a relationship that does not imply a secret? Stormy romances, as you know, break up about everyday life. From the desired and beloved Prince, he turns into something shaggy and in torn underpants. And she, once well-groomed, affectionate and understanding, becomes a "saw" with chronic PMS and in a dressing gown.

This dubious magic is experienced by every couple. But in the case of a relationship that begins with a romance, the contrast between the Prince and the Frog is felt much sharper. After all, we fell in love not with each other, but with strong emotions seasoned with romance. The man remained, but he no longer gives such cool emotions.

If romance with married men is so hopeless, then why do women enter into such a relationship?

1. Low self-esteem. If a woman does not have a sense of her own worth, then a terrible thing happens: it seems to her normal that a man treats her as an alternate airfield.
2. Negative attitudes and deficit thinking. For example, the idea that "there are few good men, and you have to fight for them."
3. Propensity for codependent relationships. This includes salvation, sacrifice, and outright masochism.
4. Fear of close relationships. As you know, the best way to stay out of intimacy is to choose unavailable partners.
5. Ignorance of male psychology. It so happens that a naive woman simply does not know that men think quite differently from us. And she is not aware that there are some rules, that a man has a desire to save energy where possible. And so on.

What if you are already in a relationship with a busy man?

1. Recall math and count how many men pass you by a day. If the city is large, then at least 100 people meet a day - on the street, in the metro, in large stores. Even if 90% of them are busy, do not fit by age or social status, it still turns out that for every day in a relationship with the “wrong” man, you miss 10 chances to be happy. That is, in a month there are 300 such chances. And in a year, 3600.
2. Stop reading right now to block his contacts.
3. Go to a psychologist and get rid of the reason why you are in this relationship.

Reading time: 1 minute

There are always many questions, but no one will give the correct only answer, because the sphere of love relationships defies logic and everything depends on specific individuals, relationships and the situation as a whole. There are forbidden, destructive relationships that truly will not lead to anything good, but there are those in which a happy outcome is possible. Initially, the relationship between a married man and a woman is not promising, and according to statistics, only one percent of all cases when a man really does not love his wife and she does not love him, and in this case he leaves the family for his mistress, can have a further continuation.

If, nevertheless, a woman got into a relationship with a married man, then psychologists always advise to be prepared for the fact that the connection can quickly break off at any moment and one must always be realistic.

It is difficult to understand the relationship of a woman with a married man who gives her consent to a second role in the life of her chosen one, but there are many such feminines. Often, girls who meet with married representatives of the stronger sex want to know about the future of such relationships and how they can be extended.

Psychologists in this regard believe the following:

In order for meetings with a married person to continue, it is necessary to properly build these relationships;

It is both easy and difficult to start dating a married man at the same time: it costs nothing for a man to sleep with a feminine he likes, but it is quite difficult for a woman to keep such a man near her for a long time;

Firstly, he does not owe anything to a new passion and often immediately says that he is married and it costs him nothing, it is also easy for him to start a new romance with another woman if something does not suit him in a new acquaintance;

If a girl wants to have a relationship with a married man in the future, then she must keep their meeting secret;

A man will respect a feminine if he realizes that she also does not seek to advertise the relationship; this will allow him to trust the woman and prolong such a relationship.

How to build and maintain a relationship with a married man? You cannot criticize or blame the wife of your beloved, but you can only support your beloved during a conversation. It is not recommended to emphasize your leadership in relation to your wife. You should not tell your friends about your beloved, even if you are sure that everything will remain a secret. It will be better if the woman remains faithful and obedient to the chosen one, in this case, the relationship with a married man may continue in the future.

You can't put pressure on your beloved, demand a divorce, call your wife, put your beloved in front of the choice. Over time, a man will decide everything himself, if he does not imagine his life without a new lover.

It is not recommended to impose oneself on a man and keep him near him at any cost. The correct line of behavior will be as restrained as possible. It is required to give the man time to get to know his new girlfriend better and to allow him to decide on his own about his family. You can safely make it clear to your beloved that the current situation is not normal for a woman and she expects a solution from him. It will be advisable to explain once to your chosen one and then translate into the expectation format of the relationship. A real man will prove the seriousness of his intentions and take the first step himself. You just need to give him time and take the position of an observer, for example, six months.

The most important thing is not to deprive a man of free choice and you should not think about how to convince him to leave his family. Let him make his own choice. When a woman allows her chosen one to sort out her desires and feelings, and she steps aside and patiently waits, this gives good results and there are more prospects for a relationship with a married man in the future.

Everything happens in life. And if your chosen one really did not have a first marriage, then the new woman does not purposefully destroy other people's relationships, but simply expects actions from her man, and there is nothing wrong with that.

If a woman has set a goal to achieve this particular man, then the most effective way is to make him fall in love not only with herself, but with everything that will be associated with her. Psychologists advise creating a quiet haven at home, a cozy nest where the beloved will rest and relax from the annoying life and home.

How to end a relationship with a married man you love

If a woman understands that her beloved will never leave the family, then there is no point in continuing such a relationship, and it would be better for everyone to end them.

To "throw" a man was easier, psychologists recommend writing on a piece of paper all the negative qualities of your chosen one and reviewing them every time before the very meeting, convincing yourself of this with your own eyes. A woman needs to convince herself that she does not need vague meetings with a “married man”, and it is time to put an end to their existence. Psychologists also recommend that you engage in personal self-development and do not forget to look around so as not to accidentally miss your true love.

In order to finally carry out a break in relations with a married man, you must first of all tune in to the termination of these meetings. Consideration should be given to how much time has already been lost and how much remains to be lost if you continue to meet stealthily. Therefore, breaking off relations with a married person should be so that there is not the slightest possibility of their renewal, since not only time is lost, but also the strength of the soul, which is wasted completely in vain.

To do this, you will need to decisively put your lover about the decision to stop contact with him and ask him to never bother him again. It is very important to stop answering calls and not call yourself, and also try not to meet with your ex, even by accident. If you still need to see each other, for example, at work, then you should change your phone number and at least temporarily go somewhere to change the situation.

When the lover realizes that the woman is determined, he will try to dissuade from this step with all sorts of tricks and, as an option, will offer to arrange a romantic farewell. You cannot fall for this "bait", because from the farewell night everything always starts all over again.

It is very important to remove from your eyes all objects and gifts that will remind you of your ex-lover, but you do not need to return them personally. It is important to understand that it is no longer possible to see him under any pretext, since such love is akin to a drug. So that there is no temptation to meet or write, you need to fill all your time with something interesting and exciting, and then there will be no room for sad thoughts. Psychologists recommend going to a place where a woman has never been, since new impressions will allow you to look at the relationship with a married man in a different way and the feminine will once again be convinced of the correctness of his decision. If you can't leave, then you should completely load your life: with new acquaintances, work, sports sections, whatever, you just can't allow yourself to be alone. Suffering will destroy the soul and will not allow you to deal with the arrangement of your own destiny.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

The relationship of a free woman with a married man in psychology is a rather complex topic. Psychology does not consider the alliance, which includes a married man and a free woman, as a connection between two free, self-sufficient people. In such a relationship, third parties are invisibly present: children, relatives, friends. One of the participants in such an alliance, in this case a woman, plays the role of the second violin. Knowing and understanding this is very difficult to accept psychologically, especially given the individual characteristics of the character. Partnerships based on equality are out of the question. A woman always sacrifices herself, her interests, time and personal ambitions.

The psychology of a married man that he has a relationship with a free woman explains this by the fact that he is missing something in marriage. It can be sex, tenderness, or just friendly, warm communication, which is no longer possible with your wife. This happens in most cases after many years lived together, passions are no longer boiling, life is established and the man wants new experiences. He lacks affection, warm words, his wife stopped admiring and praising him, although she had previously done it regularly.

In modern families, especially those created under the yoke of obligations (for example, the birth of a child), an agreement is often made about the non-interference of spouses in everyone's personal life. In this case, the wife's intrigues are not perceived as betrayal by the wife, and the man does not feel guilty. It will be easier for a woman to meet with such a man.

However, in traditional families, the spouse will not just give up her faithful. Yes, and for the sake of his mistress, a man will not destroy his family and, to which he bears certain obligations. It should be understood that such a relationship rarely ends in divorce and a new marriage. For the stronger sex, this is just an affair that gives an outlet and an emotional shake-up. In fact, most people prefer stability, comfort and warmth.

How does psychology explain the union of a free woman with a married man?

From the woman's side, the psychology of relations with a married man considers such a union from two points of view:

• practical union. A man is considered by a woman as a source of cash infusion and she is quite satisfied with an open relationship, and meetings from time to time. He is successful, well-groomed, he is only interested in the sexual side of the relationship, and he does not ask for anything in return. Confident women who are not aspiring to marriage are usually completely satisfied with this state of affairs. In addition, such an alliance allows you to correct the shaken material condition;
• romantic union. This type of relationship is built on delusion. The woman is confident in her exclusivity and firmly believes that the man will leave his wife in the near future. She sincerely believes that with her this man will finally find what he lacks in marriage, that she will be the best wife and is ready to wait for her beloved forever. Usually in this position are women who are unsure of themselves, believing that there are not enough good men for everyone, and they are ready to be in the background indefinitely, just to stay with their beloved.

In any case, a woman understands that she is not the main thing in a man's life, just in the first case she does not need it.

Psychologists warn that such a relationship cannot be strong. A married man can end the relationship at any time without any explanation and return to his wife. Indeed, in an alliance with a free woman, a married man cannot have any obligations to her. However, it so happens that a man is really unhappy in marriage and divorce is the best way out of the situation for him. If he is in no hurry to make a final decision, you should not rush him in this. Relationship with a married man - for a free girl:

• you need to try to get closer to your loved one as closely as possible. Men are reluctant to share their secrets with their mistress, but if you force him to trust and open up, success is almost completely guaranteed;
• do not put pressure on him in any way. A man usually looks for an outlet on the side precisely because of the pressure of his wife on him. You need to be able to listen to your beloved, provide support, become for him not only a mistress. But also a friend;
• do not pull the blanket over yourself, the final solution of various issues must be left to him. This will give a feeling of ease in such a union, and this is what the man needs;
• do not ring at every corner about the affair that happened. A man must himself make a decision to make the relationship public, in this case he should step out of the shadows and be able to stand up for himself.

Building meetings with a married man on the advice of a psychologist, a calculating woman has a good chance of winning him from his wife.

Psychology of correct behavior of a free woman with a married man

Even with small chances of taking a man out of the family, with the correct behavior of a woman, they multiply. She must understand that the connection with her is not a desire to radically change something in life, but simply a way to relax, rest and give way to emotions. Therefore, the decision of a man to leave his wife must be pushed very carefully so as not to scare him off if he suddenly decides that he is under pressure.

1. If the man himself did not leave the family, then he does not intend to destroy the marriage. You need to find the strength to break off such relationships, since they will inevitably reach a dead end.
2. Falling in love is often mistaken for love. For some time it is better not to see, so that there is an opportunity to cool down a little and sort out your feelings.
3. You need to understand that by taking a loved one away from his wife, the family is destroyed, the children suffer. Most of the stronger sex is hard on it, the consciousness of their guilt crushes. And a dull irritation, and even hatred, begins to wake up to a new wife. You need to be prepared for such a development of events.

Looking at the situation in this vein, many find the strength to leave their husband to their wife and not destroy their marriage.

Relationships with a married man have long ceased to amaze modern society. If earlier this could greatly damage your reputation, now it can raise several questions from people.

Can the relationship between a married man and a woman be considered "pretend love"?

Previously, it was believed that love lives only between two people, in the future they consciously legitimize their union, children appear. However, if we take into account the fact that the number of men on the planet is much less than women, then every representative of the male half has a chance of love on two fronts.

A man is always the initiator of a relationship. The first step on the way to acquaintance, the first act of kissing, bringing closer to sexual intercourse. The woman's task is only to give a hint that she wants it. And women's things are very insidious - just one playful look, a smile and a man will easily forget about what loyalty is.

A man is not looking for love on the side, but an outlet. If in the family he begins to feel disadvantaged - for example, eternal scandals over the lack of money, a wife who is trying to be in charge in everything. All this greatly infringes upon man's dignity, and he is trying to look elsewhere for the necessary harmonious balance.

Or another frequent example - when a woman after childbirth, in caring for a child, begins to lose not only her attractive pre-wedding appearance, but also forgets about her husband, that he also needs love and affection, as well as sexual pleasures at night ... Over time, partners cease to excite each other, and the man himself begins to look for how to make up for the lack of sex with other women.

What can push a woman or a young lady into this kind of relationship? Indeed, from the very beginning of this whirlwind romance, it is clear that such relationships in very rare cases end happily, and most often people scatter when they have taken everything they need from each other.

For a woman, a married man is considered a gallant gentleman, such one already knows how to look after, where to invite, what to give.

For a young lady, a man is like a "sponsor" for her life. He dresses her, buys gifts, takes her to restaurants, and she gives her love and affection. Everyone seems to be happy.

According to psychologists, free women decide on such a relationship, because they themselves are panicky afraid to marry someone. This may also be related to trauma from deep childhood. If, for example, the child grew up without a father or their relationship with the mother was very strained and in order to now protect herself from this in the present, she prefers.

Here the situation is identical with the male one - the lady lacks attention and care in her family. And who, if not a lover, will help solve all these problems. After several years of marriage, she may feel desirable again.

However, such an alliance is doomed to quick failure, since a woman will be afraid that acquaintances, friends will see her, tell her husband.

Benefits of being in a relationship with a married man

• the opportunity to improve your living conditions;
• the ability to maintain freedom and independence from marital ties, but at the same time always have a permanent sexual partner. And in parallel, you can always look for a man suitable for life;
• for married ladies, this is a good opportunity to regain its faded attractiveness, add thrill and variety to family life.

The cavalier does not always act as vile in such situations. Many women enjoy such sensations - meeting in snatches, quick kisses, passionate love, fear of not getting caught by anyone.

Therefore, positive and beneficial aspects can be found for both representatives.

Cons of such a relationship

The main advice of psychologists is: "Do not build any illusions." Even if a man swears eternal love to you and says that he will divorce over time. Do not believe it! This will never happen. There he has a family, children, parents on both sides, who will immediately hate him. And here is just fleeting love, with which the soul and body rest.

A mistress can eventually tell her wife everything herself. Every day, evening, when a man leaves, the mistress will represent him in the arms of his wife and this can even lead to a nervous breakdown, it is very difficult to be in a love relationship on the sidelines.

The life of a mistress is always sad. It is not with her that a man spends holidays, vacations, it is not with her that he can appear in any crowded place and just take a walk. She cannot meet his parents and introduce her to her. He cannot dream of a wedding with him, and even more so for children. And at one point a woman will think about whether she needs such a relationship. After all, being a mistress is still humiliating.

The reasons are as follows:

• Complete confidentiality. A free lady can at one moment forget about all the secrecy of the relationship and accidentally send her lover a love message, which, of course, can be read by the lawful wife and a terrible scandal will break out. A married woman cannot afford it. Moreover, her phone at home is always completely password protected from prying eyes.
• An unmarried woman may at one point begin to ask to leave her wife and even start quarrels about it. But a married woman does not need this and this connection, on the contrary, gives her a lot of pleasant emotions and originality in a relationship.
• Even if a woman becomes pregnant, a married woman will not tell her husband about it and in most cases will lie that this child is the fruit of their mutual love. And with a free mistress, such a move will not work and there will be a lot of trouble.
• For a married woman, gifts are not important and many are even against it. After all, what can she say to her husband about that? And this is another plus of such profitable savings in relationships.
• Do not be afraid to catch any sexually transmitted disease. The legal wife is cleaner in this matter, and the mistress can have a dozen more of the same sexual partners.

From all this, it can be understood that such a relationship can only suit a woman who has a family, husband, children. After all, going in search of a mistress, a man is driven only by a sexual instinct and least of all by a desire for some seriousness.

That is why such a connection is always fragile and not durable. So why join it? He may initially try to protect himself from such men.

For a man who enters into a relationship with his mistress, life begins to play with new colors - new sensations, pleasures, emotions. For a woman, life stops. Remember that the time spent with an unnecessary person can never be returned. And everyone wants to find love, that one and only, to give birth to children. But neither the one nor the other, a married man is never able to give.

There are some psychological tricks that can help maintain a longer relationship, and maybe even help take a man out of the family, namely:

• You should never talk to him about his family, much less criticize his wife. Whatever the relationship between them, in the soul of a man, the instinct of a defender of the family will always work.

Yes, he can complain about his life with her, constant quarrels, conflicts, but in such a situation it is better to just pretend to be a "vest", and not give any advice or express your opinion.

Over time, a man can say how understanding you are and how good it is for him to be around.

• You shouldn't put pressure on a man. They don't like being led. Think for yourself: he himself ran away from the family from the "commander in a skirt", but here he sees the same thing. There is no place for conversation in bed, and it is for affection that he comes to you.

It is better to say how you love him, what he is the most gentle, sweet, strong and beautiful. This will increase his self-esteem.

• Constantly learn the basics of sex. You even have to become a professional in this art. It was sex that the man in the family lacked, and for it he came to his mistress. You also need to be able to seduce, and every day in a new way especially.

When a woman gets tired of that uncertainty in the existing relationship, then her head begins to visit thoughts about breaking this connection. But what about the heart? If it loves and wants to be with this person.

The main thing is not to bring it to such a critical situation when the mind turns off, the nerves will not stand it, and a huge scandal will arise. It will only bring you wasted health. Believe me, even if his wife finds out about everything, over time they can make peace, forgive each other. But the mistress will be left alone, with a broken heart and soul.

Such a man is not needed to take him away from the family. Even if you achieve the desired result and marry him. Will there be trust in the family? As the saying goes, if a man has cheated once, he will cheat both the second and the third time. This is already like an incurable diagnosis. And the man will sweetly "sing in the ears" to the new mistress, just like you once did. Such a man does not know how to solve the problems that have arisen in the family, he runs away from them, trying to hide under the new wing of a pretty passion.

If, after thinking everything over, the desire to continue such a relationship has disappeared, then decide how you will end this relationship.

You can do this gradually - minimize meetings, answer calls less often, be cooler in conversations and in meetings.

You can cut off all the ends of the connection at once - change the phone number, address and just get lost from the man's field of vision. He will never seek, he absolutely does not need it.

There is another way - to arrange quarrels from scratch, demand to change the relationship and the womanizer will disappear in a couple of days. He doesn't need the same problems in life again.

It is important to understand what the woman herself wants - pure love, family, children? Then a married man will never be the right option.

For such a gentleman, a woman will always remain a mistress, a toy in the sexual pleasures of his boring and monotonous family life.

Therefore, do not waste your precious time. Life goes on very quickly and when a woman is young she can still find happiness. It is much harder to do this when the years have been wasted and will never be returned.

Are you in danger of being in a relationship with a married man? And you are in complete confusion whether it is worth nipping them at the root or the forbidden fruit will be sweet. What is the right thing to do in this situation, when a married man shows signs of attention and offers to meet? How not to be mistaken and not commit stupidity, because of which then the whole life will go downhill?

The advice of a psychologist can answer this question. Indeed, all over the world, many women cried to their psychologists with this problem. Therefore, in this article, read a rich summary and the most valuable thing about this relationship. To be able to learn from the mistakes of their predecessors and not step on the old rake.

A married man wants a relationship (Pros and Cons)
Any psychologist, and just a sane person, will advise in such a situation to stay away from men with a ring on their ring finger. Even if you do not plan a serious relationship with him, but rather want to enjoy a fleeting romance with the person you like, the best solution would be to find a free applicant for this purpose.

And here we are not talking about disgusting moral norms. If we weigh all the pros and cons, then there will be much more minuses. Let's list them in order.

1. A fun adventure or a heartache?
   The biggest thing that girls who decide to enter into a relationship with a ringed man are mistaken is the thought that everything will end as easily fun and carefree as it began. No one thinks that since you liked this person so much that you even decided to neglect his stamp in your passport, then you will surely develop affection for him. Even if you do not have such a desire, sometimes our feelings play a cruel joke with us. ... And instead of a carefree romance, we get the pain of love for a married man.
2. Nobody canceled the boomerang law.
   There is a long-known wisdom of the Universe: how you treat others and act in relation to them, you get the same in return. And one should not think that all this is nonsense of superstitious people. This is the logical truth of life. And think, if you decide to have fun with someone else's husband, then this can easily happen to you, right? Sooner or later, you decide to get married or create a serious relationship. And already in a situation where your husband went on a spree, you may be. Would you like this? Always put yourself in the shoes of other people and then you can make the right choice.
3. We build happiness on the misfortune of others.
   If an affair with a married person lasts a long time, any woman in such a situation dreams that he will divorce and stay with her legally. But after all, you are going to build your family nest on the pain and suffering of other people. And when a man rushes between his family and his mistress, he is indecisive and also tormented by this. The mistress herself also lives in ignorance and only wonders on the coffee grounds whether the traitor will choose her or stay with the family. Not to mention the wife and children. Children, too, react no less sharply to their father's betrayal. Thus, we can say that the whole circle of participants is in suffering because of this situation. But all this could have been avoided if a different decision had been made initially, and it is not a fact that if a loved one chooses you, then your new family will be happy. After all, if a man likes to glance to the left, where are the guarantees that he will not find himself another adventurer.
4. The light did not converge on it like a wedge.
   Often, girls cannot refuse a relationship with a married person, just because they see in this person their one and only soul mate. But to think so is a serious delusion. There are many interesting men in the world, and if you take a good look around, you will find several more young people with the same qualities as your loved one. You do not need to create excessive affection for a busy person, thinking that only he is your only love. The longer you meditate in this way, the longer your suffering from self-awareness in secondary roles will last.

• Better not to have affairs with married people.
  I don't want to sound boring, but once again I would like to remind you that the best solution would be to refuse a relationship with an unfree person. A married man cannot be 100% trusted. Many men, in order to start a relationship with a mistress, do not first say that they have a family. And after a while, when a girl hints at a serious relationship, she is stunned with the whole truth.
• How can such a deceiver be trusted?
  And if you initially knew about his "secret", then you have no chance at all to demand anything from him. After all, you yourself agreed to be only entertainment for him. This is how most often married men treat their ladies on the side.
• Do not wait for the weather by the sea.
  Of course, sometimes men have a strong affection for their secret admirer. But this is still not a reason for divorce in most cases. And if you have been in a relationship for a year, and it does not smell of divorce, but only he feeds you with promises, then you should not hope for such an outcome. It is better to break the destructive connection and start building your new life.

If you, despite all the warnings, want to prolong your relationship or break up your family and win the battle for a man, then these tips will be useful to you.

1. Never speak ill of his spouse.
   Even if he himself often complains about her and shows her in an unfavorable light, says that he is unhappy with her and no longer loves her, it is not permissible for you to speak badly about her. Because if everything is as bad as he claims, they are still connected by an invisible thread and he perceives it as a part of himself.
   Thus, it doesn't matter if you speak negatively about him, and there is also a high probability that all his stories about his annoying wife are embellished with red words and in fact he is not going to get divorced at all. And only wants to get new emotions in your company and distract a little from family life.
2. If you are waiting for a serious relationship and his choice, then this should be said only once. You don't need to remind him every day and ask about the divorce. Now you just have to wait. If the man himself makes a choice in your favor, then specific actions will follow. If a year has passed and nothing has changed, then it’s useless to wait.
3. Do you know any disadvantages of his wife? Try to turn them into pluses for yourself. For example, she does not cook well - indulge him with gourmet dishes. You need to be better than her in everything so that the choice is made in your favor.
4. Become a quiet haven, support and support for your loved one.
   To make him feel cozy and comfortable next to you, rest in body and soul. Then his attachment to you will increase even more.
5. Don't share your connection with anyone.
   Even friends are better off not talking. Since gossip can go, and randomly they can reach his family. And then a scandal cannot be avoided. And by the way, the wife can set a condition for him to leave you, and if everything remains secret, your chosen one will trust you more, which will have a good effect on the development of your relationship.

Case from practice

“I spent 5 years on a relationship with a married man. Lovely girls, it's not worth it. Do not waste your younger years on something that will not bring you a drop of real happiness, only the pain of feeling like a second.

At first I just wanted to have a good time with him, without any special obligations, since there was such a streak in my life that I needed a shake-up. But then, literally from the 4th date, I fell head over heels in love with him and no longer thought about parting. He was colder towards me, it was noticeable, but when they began to meet more often he became attached too.

The relationship with his wife did not go well, but he did not even think about divorce, since he did not want to injure the children. I didn't know how to get out of this vicious circle and decided to go to a psychologist. After several sessions, I firmly decided what to tie. I said in SMS, in my face I could not resist without tears.

He did not particularly resist, he himself understood that I deserve the best. The most difficult thing was ahead: how not to call, write, not wait for a meeting with him, not follow the profile in contact? Only the help of a psychologist helped to cope with this. Now I completely forgot about him and in search of new love. I already react normally to other young people, and I don't remember my ex anymore. "

For a married woman

There is also such a picture when an unfree woman meets a married man. Here double treason and 2 deceived families are already coming out. Various reasons can push a woman to such an act, but most often it all comes down to dissatisfaction with family relationships. How to be in this position? How to break the Gordian knot?

Methods for breaking the connection:

1. Be clear about your choice.
   Such a passive development of events, as perhaps everything will be resolved itself, will not end with a good ending. You have brewed this mess, and you need to clean it up. Therefore, weigh the pros and cons and make a fateful choice. This is not the moment when you need to let things go by themselves.
2. If the choice is made in favor of the lawful husband, then invite the already unwanted lover to think over the scenario for the further development of your relationship. Most likely, this will lead him to negative thoughts about revealing your secret connection, which will lead to scandals and can destroy his marriage. On such a note, you can put an end to your relationship.
3. If the former lover flatly refuses to break your connection, then offer him the round table method. That is, a frank conversation between the four of us with the spouses. Any normal person will be frightened by such an offer and will refuse, and at the same time will think about whether to continue the relationship with the generator of such ideas on the verge of fantasy.
4. Terminate all contacts at once. Sometimes it is easier to do this than to explain long and spatially why you should disperse. The main thing is that none of the participants has a desire to take revenge on the family of the offender.
5. Have a heart-to-heart talk. Using this method, in order to convince your lover of the correct decision, you should focus on causing pain and inconvenience to your legitimate passions and children. These sound arguments should convince anyone.

How to understand the attitude of a married person - what is worth waiting for?

If a young man has serious plans for you, then the initiative will be on his side. You just have to be an outside observer. If you see that he is showing strong affection, then create a cozy corner of paradise for him.

Show your love and understanding that your feelings are deep. Perhaps he really has big problems in the family and he is thinking about a divorce. Although such cases are very rare. In most outcomes, a man is prevented from filing for a break in a legal relationship by a common long-term life with his wife, children, conviction and obligations to other relatives.

The man who loves

Even strong feelings for your mistress can rarely lead to a divorce. More often men try to prolong the relationship on the side as long as possible. In order not to miss the woman who makes him happier, without thinking too much about the fact that she is not satisfied with the second role of a secret wife.

This is selfish behavior, but alas, this is the behavior of most men who sincerely love their mistresses. It is easier for them to lead a double life than to break up their first family.

How to end a bond with a committed man

1. To begin with, deeply realize that you are just a toy to him.
   It is convenient for him to have a family and raise children with his wife. And from you to receive only what is lacking in a legal relationship. Perhaps warmth, affection or intrigue, variety. Admit this unpleasant fact and decide to break up. If the attachment is strong, this step will not be easy, but it is necessary to establish life, and not to eat up the leftovers from the king's table.
2. When you are mentally tuned in, break off the relationship without unnecessary regrets and at once.
   There should not be a single chance of renewing communication. And neither you nor him. Do not answer calls and SMS, it is better to change the number altogether, do not let him into the apartment. If you do not show firmness of character, then everything can start anew. In this way, more than one year of life will pass and you can stay at a broken trough.
3. Do not get fooled by various tricks and attempts to hold you back.
   For example, a man might agree with you that it’s best for both of you to break up, but since a breakup is inevitable, then you could spend the last night goodbye together. But the outcome may turn out to be such that in the morning you will completely forget about your intentions, and everything will return to normal.
4. Destroy all things that might remind of him.
   Joint photos, his gifts, etc. It is better to just throw it away in order to surely get rid of this kind of memories. Now you have a new life ahead of you, and there is no point in remembering the harmful connection.
   It will be more difficult to act with thoughts ... But here, too, everything is real. Start going to a sports section or other activity that interests you. And best of all, ask for an unscheduled vacation and go on vacation. New acquaintances, experiences and a change of scenery will replace unpleasant memories of failed love. If circumstances are such that there is no way to take a vacation, make yourself a busy schedule. Work, fitness, meeting friends, hobbies. Not a single free minute should remain. Then you will simply have no time to indulge in dull thoughts about your former lover. And it is quite possible that such a rich life will lead you to a new love with a free and no less interesting person.
5. To get out of a relationship with a married man is easy, think about his lies.
   After all, all the time you met, day after day, he lied to his wife. And if so, then you can be in her place, so there is nothing to cherish such an irresponsible person.
6. It's also a good idea to find out the reason that prompted you to date a married man.
   If this is the need for extreme sensations that you get from secret meetings, then there are other activities to make up for that. An excellent substitute is extreme sports. So you get the emotions you need without the help of immoral connections.
7. If the main reason keeping you in this kind of relationship is the habit of the person, then you should have an even greater incentive to break up.
   After all, to be dependent on a person means to be not free. You won't be able to live a normal life, have children, if you don't end it now, and being addicted to a secret connection is not the best prospect.
   How to break off a relationship with a non-free guy and not think about him? Load yourself to the fullest at work, complete all the errands that you put on the back burner. Sign up for refresher courses. If you are planning a business trip - do not refuse. Thus, you will advance in your career and forget the unnecessary person. Now you have a complete guide to the advice of a psychologist on how to end a relationship with a married man. Memorize and implement. And you will definitely be able to start a new life from scratch. Having difficulties in solving this problem on your own? It doesn't matter either - online psychologist consultation is available at any time. Once you schedule an appointment, you are one step ahead to a happy life without oppressive connections.